Fear and Faith

A month ago, I was on a cruise with my mom, sailing down the Pacific Ocean, preparing to travel through the Panama Canal. That experience was so amazing! But, while on this cruise, I had a lot of time to think...about a lot of things, including what I wanted to do about this baking thing. I thought a lot about what I had to do to get my business licenses and to move forward in getting more clients. I constantly have been using money and time as the reason why I couldn't do this or that, but I realized that it was fear. Fear of failing, of not being good enough, and, again, of failing. My family and friends have asked me what is the worse that can happen -- I try, it may or may not work out, and then I move on. But the biggest thing is to try! TRY and see...

This is where faith comes in for me. My fear has clouded my ability to have faith that God is all knowing, and no matter what happens, He will provide what is needed, even if it's something I didn't know I needed. And faith in myself and in my abilities...I spend a lot of time thinking that I may fail, instead of having the faith in myself that if I do fail, I will be able to move on, and keep going. It won't be the end of the world if I fail. And, that there is chance that I won't fail, and that I will be successful making cakes and creating a business. But, I will never know this if I don't try.

I'm ready to really try. I'm ready to push the fear aside, and go forward, having faith that my prayers will be heard and answered. Faith that I am a great baker, and that with hard work and dedication,"I can do anything through Christ, who strengthens me." Philipians 4:13.

At Extraordinary Desserts in San Diego, CA

My efforts to move forward were reinvigorated yesterday when my friend Karen sent me a link to on of Seattle's local newspapers. The state passed the "Cottage Food Act", last year, which permits small business owners to sell baked goods (CAKES!) and jams, etc, commercially out of their homes!! That was a huge push forward for me, as I had been struggling to find a commercial kitchen to rent, in order to make cakes that could be sold commercially! This law opens MANY doors for me! And, I'm going leave my fears behind, cover myself in faith, and walk right through that door!

It's been a while, I know...

Yes, I know...it has been about 2 months since my last post, but I'm back. I didn't have that many cakes to make in the last couple of months, and took a break from my obsession w/ perfecting the French macaron. I also went on an awesome cruise with my mom for 15 days. But, it is May, and I have several cakes coming up in the next month or so. I also have a wedding cake tasting coming up in July, and a wedding cake in August! I am excited for my busy cake baking summer!

So, things that I need to get done are still not quite done, but are progressing. I will say that after my vacation, I've been feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, and more positive about this baking journey. I also got to visit my favorite dessert restaurant, Extraordinary Desserts, in San Diego, which was a rejuvenating inspiration for me. And, tasting the Ivorie Royale (yes, I did get a slice..well two actually), it was so amazing!

Yummy deliciousness!

I'm feeling much clearer about what I want, and know it will take a lot of work to get there.

Chocolate cake w/ chocolate ganache frosting

I completed two cakes this weekend - a birthday cake, and a bridal shower cake. It was great to bake again. I tried a new recipe for one cake, and tried to up my decorating standards a bit. I think they came out pretty well.

Lemon Ricotta Cake w/ whipped cream , strawberries, and blueberry filling. Buttercream frosting

The Macaron dilemma and what needs to get done!

It has been a few weeks since my last post. I think I have made 3 cakes, one batch of cookies, and one batch of macarons since then. The good news is, my cakes have been consistent and I have been getting better with planning the right amount of time to bake and decorate. Now for the bad news...well, actually there really isn't any bad news. I made some macarons this weekend. My Zumba teacher ordered some, which is great! So, I finally got this book, "Les Petite Macarons" from the library. Umm, it's kinda like the macaron bible! The author, who is a pastry chef, give very clear details as far as the recipe goes. She has a trouble shooting section as well, which is very helpful. I read this cookbook at night before bed...that's how much I love it!

Macaron bible!

 Anyway, I made the macarons this weekend. For the most part, they came out pretty well. Well, the first batch did. Which is fine, because that was all I needed for my Zumba teacher. The second batch did not come out as well, BUT, I think I know what went wrong, which is very helpful. The only thing I can do is keep trying...and figure out how to get almond flour in bulk, so I don't feel so bad when the don't turn out, and I have to toss them (although, the cookbook also has ideas of what to do with the less-than-perfect macarons). So, maybe it isn't really a dilemma as much as a quest to making the best, and most consistent macarons I can!

One of my recent cakes; chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting.

Now, for what needs to get done. People are buying my baked goods. I sometimes can't believe it; I'm still learning to be confident and know that what I make is good, and people are not just telling me that to be nice. Anyway, I need to get a business license. It has been on my to do list now for 3 months, and I'm going to have to bite the bullet, write a business plan and get a licenses. That's it. Now you all know! I also need to get real business cards made. I made some, but they look like I made them! Once again, bite the bullet and do it! I know, I can get like 250 cards for cheap online. Well, I guess I better get 250 cards online for cheap...

Ivorie Royale

I made the cake! It came out AMAZING, just as I remembered from Extraordinary Desserts! Pictures below...

Berries inside the cake!

Just out of the freezer

Finished cakes w/ white chocolate shavings!

Wedding cake and macaroons ( aka.macarons)

Tonight I baked the cake portion of the Ivorie Royale. I am making the cake for a church fundraiser on Saturday evening. They have a dessert auction, and the last few years that I have been there, I've said to my friends that I should have donated a cake. Well, this year I'm going to donate my favorite cake. I will have pictures of the final project on Saturday. The cake smells amazing, and I can't wait for the finished project!

As for the macaroons, my friend Sara was here tonight keeping me company while I baked.  I was making the macarons, and she asked if I put vanilla or almond extract in them. I explained that I don't use any extract, and after trying to figure out what she meant, I realized that she thought I was talking about the coconut macaroons that are a main stay around Passover. I explained that I was making French macarons, pronouncing it with my snobby French accent! Well, the first batch came out of the oven looking lovely, frilly little feet and all! I told Sara she may have to come over every time I make them from now on.

Ivorie Royale

There is a dessert restaurant in San Diego called Extraordinary Desserts. When I lived in SD, Julie, Greg, and I would go there often. It was the place that we took anyone who would come visit. It was, and still is, one of the best restaurants I've been too. I mean, dessert restaurant. Anyway, there was one particular cake slice I would get, if it was available -- Ivorie Royale. It was amazing! A vanilla soaked pound cake, with a yummy sour cream filling and berries, and white chocolate frosting! So good!! I've been trying to find recipes in order to try and replicate it, but was not successful...

That is, until today! A few weeks ago I was on Amazon looking for a macaron cookbook, and came across, Extraordinary Cakes, written by the owner of ED  in SD!! I was floored and so excited! I was going to have a chance to make this wonderful cake, which by the way, if I'm so blessed to have a wedding, will be my wedding cake! So, I purchased the book, and it arrived to day. It was like Christmas! I am so looking forward to making this cake. I only hope my replication of it comes out as good as I remember!

Baking Therapy

When I was a kid, I did not like cake. Actually, I did not like most sweets...candy, cake, ice cream, etc. Most of my childhood birthday parties included cake, and I was the only one who didn't eat any. Yes, I was the weird kid that didn't like cake, but that all seemed to change as an adult.

I really like cake, but I love baking cake! Mixing the ingredients, the smell of the cake in the oven, frosting and decorating it...it is all a process that in the end, results in a product that most people love to eat. It is satisfying to watch other people eat my cake, which is another reason I enjoy baking.

The therapy comes in here...I spend a lot of time thinking about things I can not control, often worrying about them. I often pray for patience; and to my dismay, patience is not just given to someone, you have to LEARN how to be patient. Tonight I realized that the process of baking is my learning moment. I mix several ingredients together, hoping that in the end they will work together to make the desired finished product. I put it in the oven, and wait...sometimes for a long time. And during that time of waiting, I realize I don't have any control over what may happen during this process. I just have to be patient and wait. If only I can remember this lesson   in my everyday life...maybe if the result was cake every time, it would be easier to remember!